


Choices and Fate

by 20Nothing20



Category: British Actor RPF, Hadley Fraser - Fandom, Real Person Fiction, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom, West End - Fandom
Genre: Avengers - Freeform, Breakup sadness, Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Phantom of the Opera - Freeform, Romance, West End Star OC, smut?, west end, wicked musical
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:47:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29273457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/20Nothing20/pseuds/20Nothing20
Summary: Lucy Tilling left her boyfriend, Hadley Fraser, to take up her dream role of Galinda in Wicked in New York. She was having a hard time getting over him until one day, she meets the very famous and very charming Tom Hiddleston and leads him on a tour of New York where they start to get close. But Tom is only in New York for one more week before filming of The Avengers stops and he has to return to England. What will happen to their very fresh relationship when he has to leave? Will they part ways or will something happen to make it work?
Relationships: Hadley Fraser/Original Female Character(s), Tom Hiddleston/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so I think this is the first fanfiction I have ever written. I started it back in 2016 so is perhaps not my finest work but hopefully someone out there will enjoy it :) And maybe this will motivate me to finish it!

'Cmon Lucy it will be fun!' Louise shouted from the other room.   
I groaned in response.   
'But it's Friday! We have performances tomorrow!'   
This was just another one of her ploys to get me to move on from Hadley. But it wasn't going to work. I didn't want to move on; I couldn't.   
Louise appeared in my bedroom doorway fixing her earrings.   
'But it's not every day you get the chance to go to an actual ball!! Plus everyone there will be in musical theatre so they'll actually know how to dance and they'll have shows tomorrow as well! We're not going to get wasted, just..a little bit tipsy. You'll feel fine tomorrow!'   
I sighed again as I sat up in my bed, dressed in my spongebob pjs, and looked Louise up and down in her black, sparkly ball gown with her hair twisted into a fancy bun.   
'Do I look like I want to go out tonight anyway?' I said with an unimpressed look on my face. Louise started to go on about how she knows I can always put on some make up and that one of my dresses would be perfect for the event as she made her way over to my wardrobe, flicking through dresses on the hangers.   
'Plus, you know, it would be a great way to stop moping around over Hadley' I heard her say through my distant thoughts.   
'What?'   
She froze as she realised what she had said.   
'Uummmm...' She began.   
'You think my mood is always to do with him don't you!?'   
'Well...uh..well I know how much he meant to you and how much you miss him and how you can't have him cause...'   
I narrowed my eyes at her as she turned round, stopping her in her tracks.   
'What I'm saying,' she continued, 'is that the music and the dancing and the drinking will take your mind off him. Now I'm not saying that you'll find another man ok, cause you've got to be ready in your own time, but who knows?! You've got to get out there and see!' She smiled and held up a dress wrapped in a bag in her hands.   
There was silence.   
'This isn't to do with Hadley' I say as I grab the dress from her hands and push her towards the door.   
Louise squeals in delight and walks out the room,'this means you'll come?!'   
'Yeeesss ok I'll come!' I exasperate and shut the door on her.   
  
Great. I lean back on the door and close my eyes in annoyance. Why did she have to play the Hadley card?! If I didn't agree to go to the ball then she would have thought that I'd never get over him and I can't have her knowing the truth. I need her to think that I'm over him so she'll get off my back. I hold the dress in front of me and unzip the bag it's encased in.   
Oh no.   
It's the low cut, revealing one I'd only worn once to a close friends party. That too was a ball so I see why Louise picked this one out. I mean I liked it, it was covered in gems and clung in all the right places and was pretty easy to walk in for a floor length dress, but it showed so much boob! Also it was backless so I was going to be freezing all night. But I didn't want to disappoint Louise.   
Once I had slipped into it I made my way over to my floor length mirror to see if I still looked good in it.   
Well the answer was definitely yes.   
It perfectly showed off my curves and it wasn't as revealing as i had first thought, the sparkles illuminated my pale skin and the low cut of the front and back looked sexy, not slutty.   
I looked good.   
I decided to go with lots of highlighter and sparkly eyeshadow with my makeup to accompany my dress and make my features really stand out as I had pulled the front of my long, blonde hair into a loose fishtail plait that cascaded down my back. I was just sliding in my favourite silver, leaf shaped clip into the side of my hair as there was a knock at the door and Louise stepped into the room.   
'Wow,' she retorted, 'knew you could scrub up well in such a short space of time'   
'Well hey, I am a Broadway star. It's what we do right?' I replied with a smile.   
'Yaaaaay!' Louise squeaked as she hugged me, 'there's the Lucy I know! Let's go then!'   
  
\----   
The place wasn't that far away from the flat thank goodness. As we stepped out the taxi I looked up at the tall building. It was a massive, old looking building and looked like the perfect place to have a ball. There were spotlights all around it and inside it as we made our way into the entrance hall. The ceiling was high and had depictions of cherubs and half-naked goddesses painted all over it. The walls looked like white marble with vast, Roman pillars etched into them.   
'LOUISE?!'   
My mind was wrenched back into reality as a blonde haired lady in a red dress broke away from a group and ran towards Louise. Louise's eyes lit up and she broke into a smile as she spotted who it was.   
'Kerry!!!'   
The two embraced as I awkwardly walked over to where they were and stood by Louise's side.   
'I didn't know you were in New York! What are you doing here?!' said Louise.   
'I've been doing a few concerts here and Norm mentioned that there was a party going on so I thought why not?'   
She motioned back to the group she came from and ushered them forwards to join her. Norm Lewis was there in a very sharp suit leading the way and a couple of others behind him I recognised from Les Mis.   
Louise finally introduced me to Kerry Ellis and the others. We had heard of each other before and of course Louise knew everyone but I was fairly new to the main roles on musical theatre so i hadn't really had chance to mix with the big stars yet. But here I was finally getting that chance! And I hadn't even thought about Hadley the whole time!   
Oh.   
Hadley.   
I'd broken that streak and now I was not in a great mood. Well done me.   
  
We headed into the main hall where I could hear classical music. As the doors opened you were hit with the liveliness of the ball and there were so many couples dancing on the large dance floor to the waltz that was being played by the orchestra at the back of the room. To the left was a bar, the stools were full with people drinking and laughing. Then to the right was a row of booths where, again, more people were drinking and laughing. The lights were dim, even the two large chandeliers emitted limited light. I assumed it was to give the event a more 'modern' feel which seemed stupid to me cause the ballroom itself looked like it belonged in a royal palace or something.   
With all the music and the dancing and the laughter around me, I started to wish that I had held my ground and stayed home.   
This was going to be a horrible night.   
  
I clung onto Louise's arm and looked her in the eye desperately.   
'Please don't leave me alone.'   
'Relax!!' She said, 'I'm gunna stay with you all night!'   
  
\----   
  
She lied.   
Here I was sitting at one of the booths, by myself. Louise had gone off to get her 7th drink or something ridiculous like that and hasn't reappeared since. I'd also lost track of Kerry's group and I guessed that they were with Louise. Louise had pretty much ignored me all night. It turned out her and Kerry were best friends and hadn't seen each other in forever so of course they'd spent the whole time together talking about the good old times which meant I had absolutely nothing to say.   
I sighed as I twirled the olive in my empty glass. At least one of us gets to be reunited with an old friend...   
  
'Excuse me, miss?'   
I lift up my head to see a tall, handsome man with short, slicked back, black hair staring down at me. He's in a fitting, white suit and I must say he looks really good. He also looks very familiar.   
'I uh saw such a pretty woman here sitting alone and just had to ask her to dance' he said in an English accent with a cute smile.   
I turn my head away and look back at my glass.   
'I didn't think gentlemen like you still existed!' I said with a small laugh.   
'Ah, well here I am'   
I look back up to him.   
'So? Would you care to dance with me?'   
I smile sadly at him and say 'I'm afraid I wouldn't be the greatest of company tonight.'   
'Oh, now I don't believe that's true. Just one dance. That's all I'm asking.'   
I pause for a moment, thinking.   
'I guess one dance wouldn't hurt.' I reply as he beams and takes me by hand, leading me to the dance floor.   
  
We walk to the middle of the dance floor as the last song begins to end and he takes my hand in his, places his other hand on my waist and pulls me close to him. I look up to see his eyes which is when I realise who it is.   
It's Tom Hiddleston!   
This movie star is holding me close and is about to dance with me! My eyes widen and I look at his chest, avoiding eye contact. Just as I tell myself to calm down the music starts and he begins to lead me in a waltz. We dance in silence for a while and I start to feel less and less overwhelmed. I get over the fact that he's a famous actor and begin to enjoy him just as a dance partner. He's not bad but I can tell he's not a professional. We dance and dance and he effortlessly leads me to each move, I feel at ease looking into his eyes now for confirmation on what to do next. We get to a part which is slow and intimate. Just me, resting on his shoulder, dancing simple steps.   
'Where did you learn to dance like this?' He suddenly asks.   
I take my head off his chest to look at him.   
'Look around you, these are all musical theatre people. We've pretty much mastered every dance.'   
He looks around the room as we sway. Every single couple is dancing perfectly like professionals.   
'Fair enough. So you're in musicals? Don't you have a performance tomorrow?'   
I think back to Louise and how much of a state she's probably in right now.   
'I'll be fine,' I say with a smile, 'how about you? Don't you have to act tomorrow?'   
He laughs, almost embarrassed and looks away from me into the distance.   
'You know who I am then,'   
I nod in response and he looks back at me.   
'This weekend is actually our break. We don't start back filming until Monday.'   
'What film is it? That's if you can tell me of course. I understand if you can't...'   
'Ehe no it's fine,' he says as he looks away, embarrassed again, 'it's Avengers Assemble.'   
'Ah! And you're playing Loki, right?'   
He winks at me and says 'Yes but that's all I can tell you! No spoilers!'   
I begin to playfully protest but the music picks up again and he whisks me away back into the movements of a waltz.   
  
We dance until the end of the song and Tom dips me down. My head spins and I feel giddy from happiness for the first time all night. My heart is racing and I'm breathing hard and have to close my eyes to gather myself. When I open my eyes I see Tom's face inches from mine. I think he's going to kiss me!   
I quickly pull away from his grip as Hadley's face flashes in my mind. This is not ok. I don't know why I agreed to dance with him!   
'I'm...I'm sorry. I just thought...I don't know...but I am sorry! I shouldn't have...' He began as he bites his lip with his hands running through his hair.   
'No no sorry it's just...I can't do this right now.'   
'I understand...I think I was just...'   
'You don't have to explain yourself honestly.'   
We both sigh as we look down at the floor, not sure what to do next.   
'Let me buy you a drink.' he says.   
I begin to protest.   
'Please, it's the least I can do. I know you're working tomorrow but just one'   
I shouldn't. But I do kinda feel bad cause this isn't his fault. It's not Hadley's either, it's mine.   
'Alright' I reply, 'just one'   
He puts his hand on the small of my back as he leads me to the bar and my heart starts to quicken again.   
I carefully sit down on the bar, trying to ignore the beating of my heart.   
'Umm a cocktail?' Tom asks as he turns to look at me.   
'I think just a white wine thanks'   
He turns his attention back to the barman and I stare at my hands which are now fidgeting in my lap.   
The barman serves me my wine and pours a beer for Tom.   
'To the most beautiful girl AND dancer in the room' he toasts as he holds up his glass to me. I clink my glass to his, blushing.   
We sip our drinks in silence for a while, observing the dancers on the dance floor. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself to really see who was here. As I looked now I saw many people I recognised from either doing past shows with or by watching them in a show. Of course they'd never recognise me though, I had always been in the ensemble and the main characters don't really mix with them. This was my first ever main part in a mainstream, professional musical and I was so lucky to finally be playing my dream role after years of wanting. While looking around and thinking this, I realised how ungrateful I'd been and how I should embrace and enjoy the now cause this really was some of the best days of my life. Yes, Hadley wasn't here to experience it with me but there was no way he could have. Maybe it really was time to move on.   
'Tom...' I began. He tore his eyes away from the dance floor to look me in the eye. His eyes shining, full of hope and he smiled kindly at me.   
'About earlier...now that I think about it I really did want to kiss you...'   
'Then why didn't you?' He asked with a hint of sadness in his voice.   
'I...'   
I was just about to explain everything when I heard:   
'OOOOOKKKAAAYYYY PEOPLE. IT’S TIME FOR THE REAL PARTY TO START!'   
I knew that voice way too well and I prayed to God that it wouldn't be who I thought it was.   
  
'Maestro, if you please! The aria from Act 3 of 'Hannibal'. Two bars will be a sufficient introduction.' Louise shouts at the conductor, in an over the top Italian accent.   
'Oh no' I sigh as I almost fall off my stool.   
She had stopped the music and cleared the dance floor. It was just her drunk self and a microphone. Never a good combination even for a Broadway star. The conductor seems confused but everyone cheers and spurs him on until he finally gives in and the music for 'Think of Me' starts playing. Now Louise definitely isn't a bad singer but she is not a high soprano, especially when drunk.   
'Think of me, think of me fondly wheennn we've said goodbye!' She sings, or rather slurs, in an awfully high pitched voice which makes the audience wince. They've realised that even a Broadway actress doesn't sound good when they're drunk and start to moan and shout at her to stop.   
'Oh dear, who is that?!' Tom laughs beside me.   
'It's my best friend and roommate' I say, looking painfully at her trying to sing over the angry crowd.   
I stride over as quickly as I can and grab her by the arm, trying to wrestle the microphone out of her hand while she persists in singing. Two burly men are starting to come over to us now who I assume are security. I am still trying desperately to drag Louise away as I feel a large hand on my shoulder and I'm being pulled back from the crowd. The security guards had managed to prise the microphone out of Louise's hands and she is now shouting a whole range of profanities at them as we are being pulled towards the door. Through all the commotion I scan the crowd looking for Tom and I find him at the back trying to get through everyone to reach me but it was no use trying to get through all the angry people. I hear a faint shout as he calls out 'I never got your name!'   
But I was out the doors before I got a chance to reply. 


	2. My Name

Tom’s face was inches from mine as he dipped me down at the end of the dance. He kissed me there in front of everyone. Hadley stood there, unable to move from shock before he ripped me away from Tom... *BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.*   
  
I stirred in my bed as I was woken up from my dream...it was just a dream. My hand reached out to shut up my alarm and I yawned as I rubbed my eyes. I sat up in bed, recalling the details of my dream and of last night. I can't believe I danced with Tom Hiddleston! But as always my mind can’t let me forget Hadley. My morning at the gym will clear my head. I have two performances I need to focus on today.    
  
\----   
  
When I got back it was just before midday. I had gotten lunch on the way back from the gym which would save me time cause I needed to be at the theatre soon. I dumped my gym bag in my room and changed into a loose dress and cardigan which meant I looked presentable but could still get into costume easily. As I stepped into the kitchen to fill up my water bottle I realised that there was only one set of bowl and spoon in the sink from my cereal in the morning.    
This meant Louise wasn't up.    
  
'Louise are you ready to go soon?' I shouted through the door as I knocked. There was no reply at all so I slowly opened the door to peak in.    
Louise was there, lying in her bed half naked with her makeup smudged all over her face and her hair in a tangled mess. She is going to be in so much trouble.    
'LOUISE GET UP' I shout at the top of my voice.    
'Nooooooo' she groans as she turns on her side.    
'You are not going to make me late ok!'   
Louise slowly rises in her bed, clutching her head.    
'Wait. So what did I do last night?' She says with effort.    
'You don't want to know' I retort as walk away and back into the kitchen.    
I gather my water bottle that I had left on the side and shove it in my bag along with some crisps and an apple.    
'You have 15 mins, Lou!' I shout at her as she drags herself into the kitchen.    
'Uugghh ok ok chill' she replies as she pours herself a bowl of Cheerios.    
I flop on the couch and open my phone. I scroll through Instagram looking at the puppy accounts I follow when I come across a sponsored post of Tom with all his previous girlfriends. The caption read in capitals 'TOM HIDDLESTON HAS A *3 MONTH RULE*. A REAL COMMITMENT-PHOBE. READ ON...' But I just scrolled past it, thinking it was just a trashy tabloid paper scrapping for stories. Tom is a real gentleman, or at least he seemed to be, there's no way he had problems committing.    
'Why did you let me drink so much last night, Luce?!' Louise says as she joins me on the couch.    
I put my phone away and say 'well maybe if you hadn't left me and had stayed with me all night like I asked you to then I could have stopped you!'   
'I left you?! Ah Lucy, I'm so sorry!' She mumbled through her mouth full of Cheerios. 'I just hadn't seen Kerry and the others in so long! I just assumed that you'd be cool with tagging along with all of us. I didn't realise that you weren't with us at all.'   
She was so insensitive sometimes.    
'Yeah well you assumed wrong. I spent nearly the whole night alone.'   
'Nearly?' She asked.    
I thought about telling her about Tom but I was still pissed at her for getting drunk and leaving me, 'it doesn't matter just go get dressed. And quickly!' And with that I went back to my room.    
  
When I came back out, Louise was standing in the hallway looking presentable for a hungover person and gave me an apologetic smile. I sighed and put my earphones in, 'cmon I don't want to be late.'    
  
\----   
  
I spent the whole journey to the theatre with my earphones in, not wanting to talk to Louise about last night.    
When we got there we both signed in and I went to my dressing room straight away before warm up. I took out my earphones and shoved them in my bag and shoved the bag under my table. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought about last night. Dancing with Tom had made me the happiest i'd been in a while but now I'd probably never see him again. And maybe I shouldn't be so hard on Louise, cause I mean maybe if she had stayed with me then Tom would never have asked me to dance. So maybe she was doing me a favour? I sighed as I made my way into the auditorium, looking for Louise. I said hello to everyone as I made my way way over to Louise who was downing a bottle of water and sitting on the edge of the stage.    
'Hey, Lou'   
She looked up and rubbed her forehead, 'hey, Luce. Look I really want to apologise for last night. I shouldn't have..'   
'Lou, it's fine. I'm not really upset or angry. I would have been though if it weren't for...' I paused. Did I want to tell her now? She'd never stop pestering me about it, 'if it weren't for your hilariously embarrassing rendition of Think of Me.' I laughed.    
'My what?!' She exclaimed as she hurriedly stood up, 'what are you talking about?!'   
'Right at the end of the night when you finally reappeared, you grabbed a microphone and told the conductor to play the aria from Act 3 of Hannibal then continued to shriek out the start of Think of Me. I tried to stop you but it took two security men to wrestle the microphone off you and then they threw us out!'   
'Oooohhhh my god yeah!' Louise says with realisation, 'it's all coming back to me! What was I thinking?!'    
'I honestly do not know but it definitely made my night!'   
It wasn't the only thing that made my night.    
'Alright everyone. Time for the warmup!' The director commanded.    
'I'm glad you're not annoyed at me for last night.' Louise said as we walked over to everyone.    
'Hey,' I say with a smile, 'you're my best friend. I can never stay annoyed or angry at you for too long.'    
We hugged and began our warmup.    
  
\---   
  
Well there we go. Another week full of performances down and now a whole Sunday to relax.    
I smile at Louise who looked like she was about to collapse from exhaustion as we stepped off stage. She had wavered during the break between performances but once she'd gotten some more water and coffee in her she'd been good to go. But the hangover had taken its toll and she told me she had to go lie down for a bit before we headed home. I said that was fine and headed to my dressing room to undress.    
I sit down in the chair opposite the mirror and breathe a sigh of relief. This sure is exhausting but I had worked so hard to get here and wasn't going to let my exhaustion get me down. My mind wondered back to my first ever major part - Grace in The Pirate Queen alongside Hadley. I smiled sadly and looked at my hands. Hadley had taught me so much as he had been in many shows before The Pirate Queen. He had even played Marius in Les Mis, in fact that was his West End debut! He is so talented. We spent hours singing together, annoying the neighbours and the other cast members who we shared a house with. But we didn't care, I owe so much of my skill to him. I probably wouldn't have come this far without his teaching if I was perfectly honest. I remember he used to play random melodies on his favourite acoustic guitar and we'd take turns in singing lines to a song we'd make up on the spot. There was this one song called 'Wings' that we'd made up one evening and it turned out really well. It was one that we always came back to when we couldn't think of anything else.    
In my small, lonely dressing room I began to hum the tune to myself and thought of those nights when it was just me, Hadley and his guitar.    
But my reminiscing was interrupted by a loud knock at the door.    
'Lucy there's someone here who wants to see you.' I hear through the door. I stand up and adjust my costume.    
'Ok send them in.'   
  
The door opened and there stood, framed by the backlight, Tom Hiddleston.   
'Tom?!' I exclaimed as I took him in in his smart, black suit.    
'May I?' He asked.    
'Of course of course come in!'    
I turned around and pinched myself, half expecting myself to wake up as this really felt like a dream.    
'Um..what...what are you doing here?!' I say shocked as I turn back around. He closes the door and puts a hand in his pocket.    
'Well it's my weekend off and the cast and I decided to go see a show. I sit down in my seat and as the lights come up who do I see? The beautiful girl who I danced with last night but whom I never got the chance to ask her name. But now I know, Lucy Tilling’ he says as he waves the programme in his hand. I blush as I look at it.    
'Well that's certainly one way to find out.' I say.    
'I was wondering if you'd sign it for me?'   
I laugh, 'you're not serious!'   
'Oh I really am, Lucy' he says as he hands me the programme open to a large picture of me as Glinda.    
'Bet it feels weird asking someone else for an autograph instead of someone asking for yours' I say as I sign the picture.    
'Ehe no, no way. I feel honoured that someone as talented as you is signing my programme,' I hand it back to him with a smile, 'you really were amazing, Lucy.'   
'Thank you. It means a lot.' i say, still smiling as he says my name for the second time now.   
He looks down at the signature and chuckles. He reads 'from your greatest dance partner, Lucy. P.S. I'm really sorry about my embarrassing friend.'    
'She really was um..entertaining.' He says.   
'There's no need to be polite. She was a mess!'   
'Yeah. She was!'   
We both laugh, remembering Louise half screeching, half singing.    
Then we both sigh and look into each other's eyes, smiling. He steps closer towards me and places his hand on my arm.    
I quickly break the contact as I go to gather up my day clothes.    
'Uh but she definitely sounded better tonight though, don't you think?' I say as I pick up my dress.    
'Oh she's in the show with you?! I didn't know!'   
'Yeah she plays Elphaba! May I...' I point towards the screen and Tom says    
'Ah yes of course!' And turns around.    
'Yes she definitely sounded a lot better tonight!' He says as I step behind the screen.   
'I'm sure she'll be very happy to hear that. But uh in fact I actually haven't told her about meeting you yet so maybe I should tell her that first.'   
'Hm yeah probably best. I doubt you can start a conversation with 'Tom Hiddleston thought you sounded really good tonight' can you?'    
'Noo she'd be very confused. But also very excited. I have to warn you, she's a pretty big fan of yours so be careful.'   
'Aw I will be sure to be as gentlemanly as possible. How about you though? Are you a fan? Not that I'm saying that everyone is a fan! I certainly don't think that! It's just..'   
'Don't worry I know what you meant,' I interrupt, 'of course I'm a fan but I'm just not a big a fan as her. I'm more into like 'Midnight in Paris' or 'Only Lovers Left Alive'   
'Ahh the more obscure works I've done, I see. Only my biggest fans know of those' he says playfully.    
'Nooo I just like those type of movies more, compared to the superhero movies.' I say and I step out from behind the screen 'de-Glinda-fied'.    
'Ok you can turn around now.'   
He turns around and his eyes go wide,    
'Wow. You really do look beautiful in everything.'    
'Aww you don't have to say that..'   
'No I'm serious! You do.'    
I smile at him. I certainly do not look as glamorous as I did last night yet he still compliments me. He is too sweet. I put the wig onto the mannequin head, haul the dress onto the small sofa for costume to deal with and place my microphones on the table in front of the mirror.    
'So uh I was wondering if you wanted to go grab a drink now, or some food, if you're up to it.' He asks me sweetly.    
Hm well Louise certainly won't be up to doing something tonight, I guess going out with Tom would be better than watching her snore on the sofa while I re-watch Doctor Who for the 3rd time.    
'Sure,' I smile back, 'I'd love to.'   
His face lights up and he gestures towards the door as he says, 'great! Shall we?'   
'Umm...what about Louise? What do I tell her?'   
He chews his lip as he thinks, 'tell her...tell her that you're going to meet a friend who's upset cause they just broke up with their partner. Or you could tell her the truth...but perhaps it's best to keep the excitement for another day huh?'    
I raise my eyebrows and purse my lips in agreement. She'd go crazy and I doubt Tom would want that much attention.    
'Ok I'll tell her the friend thing'   
'It's not like it's that far from the truth anyway' he says, staring at his feet. He looks up at me and I give sympathetic look.    
'Oh I'm sorry. I had no idea..'    
He gives a small laugh, 'anyway, let's head on out. The stage manager said he'd make sure the exit was clear before we left. I don't think there'd be any paparazzi anyway but just to be sure.'    
'Yeah yeah of course. Ok lets go!' I say as I grab my stuff and we head out the dressing room door. I swing by Louise's dressing room but there's no answer to my knocking so I open the door to find her asleep on the sofa, half de-greenified. I decide that I'll text her later cause I don't want to disturb her. So Tom and I carry on down the hall where I sign out and we step onto the streets of Manhattan. 


	3. Getting to Know You

'So,' Tom says as he turns to look at me, 'where would you like to go? I imagine you know the best places in town?'   
'Hmm I think I know the perfect place.'   
'Lead on!' He says as he extends his arm out to me. I grasp it and we start to walk down the street arm in arm. I walk in disbelief with every step as I can't believe that I'm actually walking arm in arm with Tom Hiddleston! This is certainly not how I imagined tonight would go.    
We make our way into the metro station and Tom pulls his hood up and lets go of my arm,    
"It's just a precaution" he says, and I nod in understanding. I pull out my metro card and scan through the barrier but Tom's seemed to not be working as i look back. I see him sigh and try again but again it doesn't work. He walks up to the guard on the side and pulls down his hood. I don't catch what they say but the guard snaps a selfie before letting Tom through the barrier at last. He shrugs at me and says,    
"It comes with the job!" as we go down the escalator. As we step off I say to him,   
"You know, it took me ages to get used to not calling these things 'oyster cards'" I joke as I wave the metro card in front of him before putting it back in my pocket.    
He laughs and replies, 'I know what you mean! I even called it an Oyster card back there and the guard laughed at me! It was very embarrassing."    
"Aaww no!" I say as we board the busy carriage, trying to squeeze in between everybody, "I'm sure he was too star struck to focus on that anyway."   
Tom looks at me and smirks which showed that he didn't believe that was true. He was so humble.    
  
We spent the rest of the ride in silence as it was too awkward to talk in such a cramped and busy area and you just don't talk on the tube. It's an unwritten rule. I must say I also rather enjoyed just being pressed up closely against him for a while. He had one hand on the pole and the other on my back, keeping me close and balanced. I looked up at him and sort of gawked at him for a couple of seconds; admiring his strong jawline, bright blue eyes and slight stubble. He was so very handsome. My fangirling was interrupted as he looked down at me and smiled warmly, to which I awkwardly smiled back and shifted my gaze to the floor. We rode for a while more until I indicated that it was time to get off. We squeezed our way through the people, both saying sorry multiple times being the British people we are, and eventually we were back out onto the streets again.    
"It's not far from here" I say pointing to an avenue to the left. The streets were far less busy here and we could walk without having to barge through hundreds of people. As we walk Tom turns to me and says cheerfully, "so where are we going?"    
I was just about to tell him when I remembered.    
I was leading him to the place Hadley and I once went when we were in New York.    
I stopped.    
"Lucy? Everything ok?" Tom said with his brow furrowed in concern.    
"I..uh. Yeah. Yeah sorry," I snapped out of my daze to look at him and smile, "thought I'd um forgotten something but it's all good! Let's carry on."   
I told myself that I had to move on from Hadley so that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm just going on a date with Tom Hiddleston to an ordinary diner...I'm going on a date...with Tom Hiddleston!    
We walked for a while more until I stopped outside a typical old looking high rise building, but decorated with bright neon lights and signs that stood out in the dark streets.    
"Ok here we are." I say, pushing open the door and ascending bright red steps within.    
"So what is this?" Tom asks, skeptically as he follows me up.    
"It's 'Owen's'! It's a little diner that I came to ages ago. I was surprised that it was still here to be fair."    
Tom holds open the red framed door at the top of the stairs for me and I thank him as I walk in. He puts his hands on his hips and surveys the place. It's not overly busy tonight. There a couple of people in the booths dotted around the room and the bar to the left seems to be empty apart from 3 people sipping at their drinks, along with one waitress behind it. It's a typical diner with a red and yellow colour scheme; very retro. They even have a large jukebox on the other side of the room from the entrance.    
"I like this! Very old fashioned!" Tom says as he nods approvingly.    
"Yeah and it's not really well known apparently." I say as we head over and sit down at a booth near the window, overlooking the cityscape.    
"You said you've been here once before?"    
"Uh yes," I quickly pick up the menu and stare at it, "a friend showed it to me when we were in New York for a show."    
A waitress comes over to us and we order our drinks - apple juice for me and a milkshake for Tom.    
"Thought I'd push the boat out seeing I'm on a break!' He jokes as the waitress smiles at him and walks off to get our drinks.    
"So," I say quickly trying to change the subject before Tom returns to asking me about the last time I was here, "you got any other plans for your little break?"    
"I thought I'd take in the sights of the The Big Apple. Be a real tourist you know'   
'Sounds good! I guess you don't really get to do that with such a busy schedule all year round.'    
He looks out at the cityscape and says 'yeah, I get to go to all these places to film but I feel as if I never really see them.'   
I do feel bad for him. It can't be fun having no time to yourself or to actually enjoy your time somewhere new.    
'Well...it's my day off tomorrow, maybe I could give you a small tour?' I offer.    
He looks back at me and beams,   
'I'd love that! Thank you, darling!'   
He stretches out his hand and gives mine a squeeze but his fingers linger on my palm and he doesn't let go as he stares into my eyes; his sparkling.    
  
'So I've got an apple juice..'   
We simultaneously look up at the waitress who has appeared at our table and I retract my hand underneath the table quickly.    
'Uh yes that's mine.' I say waving my hand a little.    
'And mine was the milkshake' Tom says smiling at the waitress. She giggles childishly then places the drink in front of Tom along with a basket of fries.    
'On the house.' She winks at him and walks away.    
  
'Man, I wish I was pretty enough to get free food!' I retort.    
He breathes a laugh, 'oh no i don't think it's that.'   
He pushes the basket towards me and I grab a fry and pop it into my mouth.    
'Hm could use some ketchup.'   
Tom eats one and agrees but there doesn't seem to be any on the table.    
He excuses himself and goes off in search of ketchup.    
Now that I was alone I couldn't stop my mind from wandering back to when Hadley and I came here. The booth I could see in the corner across from me held good memories. We were lost in New York but stumbled upon this place and decided to get our heads together over a milkshake.    
Laughing about every tiny thing, even if it wasn't funny. We were just happy to be in each other's presence, sharing a frothy strawberry milkshake like a typical 60s couple. We danced and sang to 'You're the one that I want' on the jukebox while the staff and other customers clapped and laughed along. I remember his hands on my waist as he danced behind me; feeling him close and secure.    
  
"Here we go!" I hear Tom's voice as he sits down and plonks the ketchup bottle on the table.    
"Thank you" I smiled up at him.    
It was then I realised that I had been so focused on my own love life that I realised I had never asked Tom about his excuse he asked me to tell Louise.    
"So, what was about that excuse earlier?"    
He looks at me, confused and asks what I mean.    
"You know when you said to tell Louise that I was comforting a friend that had just split up with their girlfriend or something?"   
At this he looks away and visibly unsettled    
"Not that I want to pry or anything, I promise...." I quickly add.    
"No no! It's..it is true," he takes a sharp intake of breath, "I have just recently split up with my girlfriend. It didn't work out cause of our schedules; we were never free at the same time and you can't build a relationship without time. Then this just brought out her bad side and she...she wasn't very nice and I saw what she was actually like and I was just very unhappy,"    
I bit my lip, unsure what to say but he early saw that I was uneasy and said,    
"But look, here I am on a first date talking about my ex! I'm so sorry, darling!"    
  
I was taken aback at that.    
"A date?" I say.    
"Oh!" He says, "yeah, was that not clear? I know it's sudden but it's just something about you, Lucy. I thought that the fact that we danced so well together meant we had, not to be cliché but, a spark?"    



	4. A Spark

He confirmed it! I thought it was just me but it really was a date!    
I blush at his words and say, "don't worry, I like cliché and I know what you mean. It felt like we had been dancing together before, it was so effortless." 

We smile lovingly at each other as we remember the other night. As I look into his eyes, in my mind, I can see the reflection of us dancing close in the magical ballroom.    
  
Tom blinks and brushes his ring finger across his lips. "I always like to think it I hadn't been an actor that I would have been a dancer." he says wishfully.    
"Maybe you could come and join me in one of dance classes one day!" I laugh, "although that depends if you'd try ballet or not."   
"Hey, I'd like that. I'm always up for new experiences." He said as he held my gaze almost...seductively? No. He can't have meant it in that way. Could he?    
"Why ballet then?" He continues.    
"Well...apart from Glinda in Wicked, my other dream role is Christine in The Phantom of the Opera and she is a ballet dancer. Plus why not? I just find it really fun! Makes me feel elegant." I say with a smile.    
"Ah well I'll be the judge of that when I come join you!" He says with a jokey pointing look.    
I narrow my eyes at him playfully and he laughs in response.    
"Yeah well I can't wait to see elegant you are then!" I tease back.    
"Just winding you up, darling. Plus your annoyed face is very cute."    
I blush again at his words and instinctively narrow my eyes again, annoyed, but then realise what I'm doing and quickly look away with a huff. It's a constant cycle. He continues laughing but then says,   
"Ok I'm sorry I'm sorry. I'll stop now I promise."    
I look back at him and cheekily smile at him to show him there’s no hard feelings.    
He goes onto say, "But yeah, my advice for life generally is dance more! And I've got to take my own advice."   
"Well that's settled then!" I say, "You're coming to ballet with me whenever you're free next. But I won't break my promise of showing you round town tomorrow just so we can go to my ballet lesson, don't worry."    
Tom suddenly has a worrying look on his face, "Yeah but I never get a lot of free time when shooting."   
Just then, my mind flashes back to the day I left Hadley to go to America.    
  
_ 'Tell me just once more why we can't make this work, Hadley.' My eyes searched for any signs of a change of heart but his were stone cold, brimming with tears.  _ _   
_ _ 'Because neither of us will get a lot of free time to see each other. With you being in a different country and all.' His tone was bitter and nothing like I had ever heard from him before.  _ _   
_ _ 'But I still think we could make this work.' I plead, going to reach out and grab his hand. But he shakes it off the moment I touch him.  _ _   
_ _ 'Lucy, we've been over this a million times. Just...don't.'  _ _   
_ _ The tannoy plays its announcement tune and a voice says, 'Gate number 3 now boarding. New York, New York.'  _ _   
_ _ At this, my tears begin to make their way down my face, _ _   
_ _ 'Hadley...' _ _   
_ _ He envelops me in a hug before I get the chance to continue. I instinctively relax into his arms as I have so many times before. He squeezes me hard and when he finally pulls away he runs the back of his hand across his cheek; trying to hide his own tears in the face of mine. Always trying to be strong.  _ _   
_   
"Lucy?"   
I blink and look back up at Tom, totally forgetting where I was for a second before I say,   
"Sorry I..I was totally lost in thought. Uh, don't worry about coming with me if you don't have time, really."    
"No no I want to! I'll find the time, don't you worry. I'll make it work."    
  
_ "Lucy I'm sorry. Don't think I wouldn't try to make this work if we could. But it's just...better for both of us this way." Hadley says, holding my hand. I don't know what to say. After a moment I finally reply, _ _   
_ _ "I understand." _ _   
_ _ But I didn't.  _ _   
_   
"You'll make it work..." I say aloud, not directed to Tom. He gives me a concerned look.    
"Yes?" He says confused, "everything ok?"    
With a sharp intake of breath I look up to him again,    
"Uh yes, yes. But I think...I think I should go now."   
"What? We haven't even eaten yet though?" He says as I stand up.    
  
_ "Look after yourself, Lucy." Hadley says and he kisses me for the last time.  _ _   
_   
"I know and I'm sorry but I don't actually like um eating this late..."   
He still looks confused but being the gentleman he is, doesn't press any further,   
"I understand."   
  
_ "I understand." _ _   
_   
"Here's my number for tomorrow." He says and writes it on the red napkin and passes it to me. I nod and reply,   
"Thank you. I'll text you later I promise."   
I take out my purse and shove the napkin in my pocket. I pass some money to Tom for the apple juice but he shakes his head,   
"No no please don't. I got it covered." he insists, "You ok making your way back to wherever you need to be? I can take you back."   
"No honestly I'll be fine. I'm used to travelling alone. Thank you, Tom." I give him a small smile, "goodbye."   
"Bye, Lucy. See you tomorrow." He calls after me as I hurriedly make my way out of the door and down the staircase.

I step out into the night and lean against the wall, taking deep, slow breaths. Stupid! I’m so stupid. My first date with Tom fucking Hiddleston and i blew it. I take a moment to let the wind rush past me and cool me down before i swallow hard and start walking towards the subway, Hadley still creeping his way to the forefront of my mind.

I take out my phone and see that it’s just past midnight. I also see 7 texts and 4 missed calls from Louise. Damn i never did text her where i was going…

I guess i’ll be dealing with that when i get home. But what exactly will i tell her?


	5. I Can Show You the World (New York)

My keys turn in the lock to the apartment and when I open the door Louise is standing there, arms crossed like an angry mum waiting for her child to come back way after their curfew.   
"And where the hell have you been?! I've been ringing you non stop and you didn't even look at any of my texts! You think you can just waltz back in here at nearly 1am? I've been so worried about you and..."   
I lean my back against the door and start to cry.    
"Lucy?! What? What's wrong?" Louise uncrosses her arms and now looks concerned rather than angry as she makes her way over to me. I can't find the words just yet to tell her what's going on. At first I thought I would need to lie to her but I realise these tears and this feeling I have is real. There was no need for a total lie.    
"I'm sorry, Lou. You said I wasn't over him and I denied it but you were right." I cry into her arms.    
"Hadley?" She asks as she holds me. I nod against her shoulder,   
"I had to go clear my head for a while. I don't know why but tonight after the show I just couldn't stop thinking about him."   
I knew why - that was a lie. But it's true that I couldn't and still can't stop thinking about him.    
"Lucy I'm sorry for having a go at you. I didn't know." Louise says as she now holds me at arms length, "do you want anything? Ice cream? Just a chat?"   
I sniff and wipe away my tears, "No thank you, I think I just want to go to bed."   
"That's fine. We can do something tomorrow to take your mind off everything." She suggests as we both walk towards my bedroom.    
"I can't" I say, "I'm meeting a friend who's in town for a couple of days. Sorry."   
That also wasn't a lie.    
"Ah alright. As long as you do something then that's fine." She smiles and hugs me once more, "sleep well, Luce."   
"Thanks Lou. You too. And I'm sorry for making you worry."    
"Don't worry about it. You had a good excuse."    
I really did. And with that i went into my room, got ready for bed and lay under the covers, trying to sleep. I stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours, begging my brain to think of something other than Hadley. Eventually giving up on sleep, I pick up my phone from the bedside table and unlock it. Glancing at the contacts icon I remember I have Tom's number stuffed in my jean pocket. So I haul over my jeans and retrieve the red napkin, flattening it out on the bed. I type in the number and save it under 'Hiddles' then hover over the keyboard, contemplating whether to message him or not.    
  
Lucy: Hey, it's Lucy. :)   
  
I stared at my message. Ugh what was I thinking? He's not going to reply. But just as I had thought that, the three dots appeared signalling that he was typing back.    
  
Tom: Hey there dance partner!    
Tom: Everything alright?   
Lucy: Yeah thanks. Sorry about earlier...   
Tom: No need to explain honestly. We all have our moments.    
  
I inwardly sigh from relief. That was a conversation I was not willing to have.    
  
Lucy: You really are too sweet!   
Tom: I think your sweetness just rubs off on me :)   
  
I hold in my squeal.    
  
Tom: So where/ when do you want to meet tomorrow?   
Lucy: Hmm the Rockefeller tower ok for you? 9 o'clock?    
Tom: Yah! Sounds good to me! Ok now off to sleep. Don't want you getting tired on me tomorrow.    
Lucy: Okie dokie :) Don't worry. We can grab a coffee first to ensure that doesn't happen.    
Tom: On me, I insist.    
Tom: Night night, Lucy.    
Lucy: Night, Tom    
  
I send him a gif of a cartoon Loki tucked up in bed and lock my phone, settling down to sleep.    
  
-   
  
The next morning I wake up and grab my phone to turn off my alarm. I also see there's a message from Tom.    
  
Tom: Morning! Looking forward to seeing you in a bit :)   
Tom: also didn't think you were a fan of Loki huh ??   
  
I smiled, having been exposed.    
Lucy: Welll I never said that I wasn't a fan!    
Lucy: ANYWAY see you later! Gtg    
  
So with that I got up and ready, dressing in black high-waisted jeans and a casual shirt. Tucking it in, I hear a knock and then Louise pops her head through the door.    
"Oohh you look nice! Going on a date?" She says, wiggling her eyebrows.    
"Noo I told you I'm just going to go meet a friend for the day." I reply.    
"Who?! You're not allowed friends other than me." Coming to wrap her arms around me.    
"Don't worry, it's just an old friend. You're still my number one." Hugging her back.    
"Alright. I'm just glad you feel better this morning." She says.    
I smile and hum in response, "I must go though. Don't want to be late."   
I grab my bag off the bedroom floor and slip on my boots before making my way out of the door, shouting a bye to Louise.    
  
It didn't take me too long to hop on the subway and get to the Rockefeller tower. I stood by the golden statue, checking my makeup in the reflection.    
"You look beautiful, don't worry." I hear a voice say. Turning around to be greeted by Tom. 

I blush and reply, "Aw Tom...hello."   
"Hi darling." He says and hugs me, then releases with a kiss on my cheek. It instantly feels warmer. He then hands me a small bag.    
"What's this?" I ask, peering into the bag.    
"Breakfast!" He replies cheerfully.    
Inside the bag were two coffee cups and two pain au chocolats.    
"Pain au chocolats!! My favourite! How did you know?!" I squeal.    
He smiles, "Just a lucky guess."   
I thank him and break off a piece and pop it into my mouth with a noise of gratification.    
"So what have we got planned for today?" He continues.    
"I'm going to show you the whole of New York!" I smile widely.    
"The whole of it?! And how, pray tell, are you going to do that." He asks skeptically.    
I start to walk off towards the entrance of the tower, looking back at him to tell him to follow me, "You'll find out."   
He catches up and we walk into the building together, greeted with the longest queue I had ever seen.   
"Ah...maybe I should have booked tickets in advance..." I say worryingly.    
But Tom just smiles and assures me he doesn't mind waiting in the queue - we were British after all! So we make our way to the back when I hear,    
"Hey! It's Tom Hiddleston!"   
We both turn to the queue and see the mass of people all turn to look at us. Tom starts to wave and smile at them all, being so cool as I'm sure he's been in many of these situations before.    
"Mr.Hiddleston. Let me take you and your lady friend this way to our private entrance." A man dressed smartly in a suit and a Rockefeller badge says to Tom as he comes up to us.    
"Oh no no really. I don't mind waiting..." Tom starts.    
"Don't be ridiculous!" The man interrupts, "please, come this way."   
The man puts his hand out to an archway and Tom looks to me.    
"I guess we have no choice!" He says and I nod, walking in tow with him and the man.    
The man leads us to an elevator and we all step inside. Then as the man presses the top button, it goes dark. Neon lights flash up above and through the glass ceiling you could see the spanse of the elevator shaft. As we moved up, a countdown started on it and music began to play. I looked to Tom and he looked back at me in excitement. We both looked back up and counted the floors.    
"68, 69, 70!" We chant and the elevator stops.    
"This way please" the man says as he steps out of the opening doors. The wind hits me as we walk out and I hold my arms, instantly regretting not wearing a coat.    
"Please, enjoy." And with that, the man steps back inside the elevator.    
  
Tom pretty much runs to the side and holds the bar, looking over New York.    
I smile at his excitement. Just like a little puppy I thought.    
"See," I say and he turns to me, "told you I was going to show you the whole of New York."   
"Indeed and you delivered." He replies and holds out his hand for me to take. I do and he pulls me to the railing.    
"Aren't you cold? Here, have my jacket." He unzips his light jacket and puts it around my shoulders as I thank him, knowing he wouldn't let me refuse.    
We stand in silence for a while, taking in the spectacular view and eating our breakfast. No matter how many times I see it, I'm still enamoured with New York. But that doesn't mean I don't miss England.    
Just as I think that Tom says, "Not quite like home is it?"    
I hum in agreement, taking a sip of my coffee, "Not at all."    
"Do you miss it?" He says, tearing his gaze from the landscape to me.    
"Yeah...I do. But maybe I'll go back one day. That's the joy of being in musicals - you never know where you'll end up next." I say without shifting my gaze from the high rise buildings. I could feel his stare on me and I felt the heat on my cheeks. Luckily the redness from the wind hid it.    
"Could be anywhere. Even Japan!" He jokes.    
"You know I actually wouldn't mind that! Plus I've known loads of people that have gone over there to do gigs. Like I knew this one guy who went there and just sang Phantom. Sold out every night!"   
"Ah fair enough then!" He sighs, taking a sip of his own coffee, "You know I've never seen Phantom of the Opera."   
I instantly whip my head round to him, a mix of disgust and shock on my face, "What?! Never?!"   
He chuckles, "Ehe nope...sorry. Just never got round it."   
"Ahh it's my dream to be Christine one day" I say wishfully but he just gives me a confused look, "the main character!"   
He lets out an "ah right".    
I roll my eyes playfully and continue, "One day I'm going to. I'd say when I get bored of playing Glinda but I know that's never going to happen!"   
  
We carry on talking about musicals (which I was very happy about) and then move on to our favourite films and actors. Tom saying he thinks the best Chris is Chris Hemsworth and I agree with him hands down. The conversation is easy; like we were old friends and I enjoyed every minute of it. I pointed out the main landmarks like Central Park and the Empire State Building then we carried on talking about all sorts of random things until we heard the ding of the elevator.    
"Sorry Mr. Hiddleston. I'm afraid I'll have to take you back now." The man in the suit says from inside the elevator.    
"No worries." Tom says with a polite smile, "ah could you just possibly take our picture before we leave though please?"   
Tom puts our rubbish in a nearby bin and hands his phone to the man and we pose, his arm around my waist, the high rise landscape behind us.    
A couple of photos are taken and when we get back into the elevator, Tom and I flick through them. I stop and point at one particular one where I thought I looked best, "Send me that one! I actually look decent in that."   
"Lucy, you never look just decent. You honestly always look beautiful. Even with windswept hair and flushed cheeks." He says as he takes in my appearance.    
I blush for what seems like the hundredth time over the past couple of days and mutter a thanks.    
"That jacket also totally suits you." He smirks.    
I look down and realise I still have his jacket over my shoulders. I hand it back to him as I say,   
"Thank you but I think I'll be ok without it now."   
  
We eventually reach the ground floor and step out into the foyer. It's then that a hoard of people swarm towards us. They scream and holler Tom's name, holding out their hands to try and grab any part of him they could.    
"C'mon." Tom whispers to me as he grabs my hand and starts to pull me through the crowd to the door. We manage to reach it by shoving through the hoard and Tom shoves open the door. We step into the street but the fans are right behind us. We begin to run through the streets, covering blocks, weaving in and out of alleyways and side streets trying to lose them.    
Tom pulls me to the side into a small alleyway and has the back of his arm pressing me against the wall as he peers around the side, looking for the hoard. He breathes heavily, "I think we've lost them.”    
I try to steady my racing heartbeat as he moves away from me and leans against the opposite side of the alley, only a meter away.    
"I'm so sorry, Lucy. I didn't think this through. I shouldn't have been so careless." He stares at me, guilt upon his face and still breathing heavily.    
"Tom it's fine honestly. Neither of us got hurt." You reassure him.    
"Yeah but you could have. And I don't ever want you to get hurt." He says, a hint of anger in his voice. No - protectiveness. We stare at each other, eventually our rapid breathing becoming in sync. He takes one step towards me - all it takes to be mere inches from my face. His gaze flickers between my eyes, as if searching for something. Then he tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering on my jaw. Our breath had slowed now but mine was still laboured in anticipation of what I knew was about to come.    
"Can I...kiss you, Lucy?" He asks in a hushed voice. I can only bring myself to nod in response.    
  
And it was then that he kissed me. Full on, deep and passionate and I didn't pull back. I leaned in wanting more like it was the most natural thing in the world.    
  



	6. The Walking Tour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the change in format from now on. Not sure what's going on but hopefully it is still readable!

Tom pulls back and I notice the look of shock on his face. 

“I'm sorry, Lucy. I..I shouldn't have done that should I? This is all going too fast. I'm sorry.” he fumbles over his words, something I imagine doesn’t happen very often.

“Tom Tom. Don't worry. I mean, I can't say I didn't enjoy it.” I smile, my lips tingling.

“It's not too fast?”

I shake my head, “I think it’s time.”

I say that in answer to his question but also to myself. It’s time to move on from Hadley. I’ve been telling that to myself for a while but now i’m actually going to try. And I can’t ignore this spark between myself and Tom

He physically relaxes but says uneasily, “That paparazzi though...there might be...rumours.” 

I place my hand on his arm and he looks at me.

“Nothing I can't handle, I promise.” 

He gives me that brilliant smile and glances out of the alley.

“I think they’re gone. Shall we? That’s if you still want to be seen with me...” he says and holds out his hand.

I take his hand and put on my very best acting voice, “I would not wish any companion in the world but you.”

At my words his eyes brighten, “The Tempest!”

I nod and he holds my gaze for a while, clearly impressed with my knowledge of Shakespeare. I haven’t felt this giddy in a long time. Tom Hiddleston just kissed me and now here he is making goo goo eyes at me! 

“Wow” he starts, “A woman who’s not only beautiful and talented but also knows Shakespeare! Where have you been hiding my whole life?” 

I start to laugh but I’m silenced as he places his lips on mine once more. 

I lean in and enjoy the moment. As he pulls back it takes me a minute to re-orientate myself. Gosh, this man is so smooth.

“C’mon! The date isn't over yet!” I say and pull him towards the street. I had a lot planned. 

So we make our way back to the streets and I inform him that it’s just a small walk to our next destination. He’s like a small puppy - constantly asking where we were going but i wasn’t giving in to those baby blue eyes. It was a surprise. I manage to distract him with talk of Shakespeare and we exchange our favourite plays. Well, he’s being very secretive about his actual favourite play for some reason but he does tell me that he’s always wanted to be in ‘Much Ado About Nothing’.

“I think it’s the most beautiful, warm, compassionate play that he ever wrote.” he says, “And I think the reason i like it is that it’s about love. It’s about your last chance. You might have sworn off finding the right person and think, ‘Love’s not for me. Marriage isn’t for me. I will die a bachelor, or I will die a maid.’ It’s about these two old cynics who are like, ‘Nah, it’s not going to happen for me.’ And it does.”

I mull over his words as he continues to talk. Is he saying that’s what he thinks? That he would never find love? But i didn’t think it was appropriate to ask him now, and i don’t want to interrupt his flow. He sure does love his Shakespeare.

Eventually, we reach the edge of Central Park.

He looks up at the sign and exclaims, “Ah Central Park! This was your big surprise?”

I give him a ‘bitch please’ look and drag him into the greenery. 

Walking just a little while longer, we reach a place with a couple of people standing around in a circle while others talk to a man with a harmonica and a guitar. Shifting our way through the people crowded in a circle we stop when we reach a circular plaque on the ground.

“Imagine.” Tom reads out. 

“It’s the John Lennon memorial. We’re in the middle of Strawberry Fields.” I say.

“That’s right.” I hear a voice say and turn around to the man on the bench, “and over there is the Dakota apartments where John and his wife, Yoko Ono, lived and where he was shot December the 8th 1980.”

Tom lets out a noise of awe and the man starts playing his guitar. I instantly recognise it as ‘A Little Help From my Friends.’

_ ‘What would you do if i sang out of tune would you stand up and walk out on me?’ _

I join in, harmonising.

_ ‘Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song and I’ll try not to sing out of key.’ _

At the chorus, Tom and the small group of people around us join in. 

“Hang on.” the guitar man says and stops playing, “young lady, your harmonising is so beautiful that you must be the one to wield the tambourine.”

And he passes me a tambourine from the bench beside him. The moment I get it in my hands I turn to look excitedly at Tom and am greeted to his phone being pointed directly at me.

Well if this is going to be on video then i might as well make it a good show. The man starts singing and playing again and we stand side by side, swaying to the music, me bashing the tambourine in time.

When it gets to the high part, the guitar man looks to me and I burst out,  _ “Do you need anybody?” _

And he continues with the low,  _ “I need somebody to love.” _

We continue swaying and singing, Tom laughing silently behind the camera the whole time.

_ ‘Would you believe in a love at first sight? Yes, I’m certain that it happens all the time.’ _

Tom and I subconsciously look to each other at this point and I can see that he’s mouthing along. My smile somehow gets even wider and we can’t take our eyes off each other for the next couple of lines - the tension in my heart returning. Eventually, I snap out of my daze and turn my attention back to the song. As it finishes, I shake the tambourine wildly, ending with a flourish and the small crowd around us claps and cheers. I give back the tambourine and Tom and I thank the guy, both giving him a couple of dollars.

“I wasn’t too awful was i?” I ask as Tom and I make our way out of the park.

“Thought you sounded even better than last night!” he says jokingly. 

Then it hit me. He really only did just see me in a show last night. He’s not even known my name for a whole day yet! And now...now we’ve kissed. Maybe it was going too fast but to be honest, I didn’t care!

“Hm, tell that to my manager. I’m sure he’d love to know that. Good feedback for me.” I joke as we head towards the nearest subway station. I think Tom had learnt his lesson because he didn't ask me where we were going this time. 

We rode for a while in peaceful silence on a near empty carriage. It was empty enough for Tom to not need to put his hoodie up but we still didn’t hold hands. That was too risky.

When we got off the subway we made our way up to the streets and I take him towards Wall Street. We walk through and i point out the entrance to the main building as Tom snaps a few pictures along the way and i finally lead him to the charging bull where I take his picture with it and he asks me the meaning behind it.

I put on my best American accent and say, “It represents the can-do spirit of America.”

He burst out laughing at this then says, “You’re so cute, Lucy.”

I squeal internally. He needs to stop being so smooth. I just blush and tell him to carry on following me.

Walking further again, we reach Battery Park and I lead Tom right to the edge of it where there’s a harbour.

“Is that…?” he begins to ask.

“Yep.” i say smugly. Ahead in the distance, across the water is the Statue of Liberty. 

“Wow! It looks so small!” he says.

“Well, we are quite far away from it, Tom. But people always say it looks smaller than expected when they get close to it.” I reply and look at him as he looks at in wonder.

“Should i buy us tickets to go see it?” he says as he tares his eyes away from the far off statue.

“Already ahead of you!” i say and pull out two tickets from my pocket. 

And he smiles at me.

“But first! Lunch.” you continue.

“Yes! Very good idea! On me though, i insist.” he says.

I sigh in mock annoyance, knowing nothing i could say would change his mind and with a resigned ‘ok’ start to walk towards a restaurant on the harbour side.

We walk in and sit down on a table near the large glass windows so we can overlook the harbour. The restaurant is nautical themed (typical) and it seems the special today is freshly caught mussels in a red wine sauce.

“Oohh mussels!” i exclaim and Tom looks up at me from his menu, confused. He follows my gaze to the special board and laughs in realisation.

“Never had them. They any good?”

“They’re an...acquired taste. I like them though.” i reply. He doesn’t look sold on them and shifts his attention back to the menu.

“I think I’ll stick with good ol’ sea bass. Sorry…” he says regretfully but I assure him I’m not offended at his rejection. 

“Hm I guess it is only lunch time so maybe i might go with the salmon salad anyway. I’ll take you out for mussels one night especially!”

“Uhhh…” he laughs, “ Can’t wait...”

The waiter comes over to our table to take our orders and Tom pays upfront then and there.

“Thank you for lunch, Tom.” I gush.

“Don’t thank me just yet!” he says, “We haven’t had it yet. Could be horrible! But honestly, it’s my pleasure. After all, I should be thanking you for such a great date.”

“So far!” I say, “It’s not over just yet!”

“Of course! Of course!”

Luckily our meals didn't take too long to arrive because I really was starving.

But just as we were about to start eating, Tom’s phone goes off. 

He apologises and picks it up,

“Hello?...I see...really? Right now?...I hate to be a bother but I am in the middle of something. Would it be possible to wait until tomorrow?...oh...I see...ok I’ll be there as soon as i can...ok...bye.”

My face drops and I see Tom’s drop as he hangs up.

“Darling, I’m afraid I have to go. It’s quite urgent - they haven’t done a screen test with a new prop I’m filming with tomorrow and they need to make sure it works. I know we had plans but i don’t think-”

I cut him off, “It’s fine, it’s work. I understand.” and I give him a reassuring smile and nod. 

“But the tickets?”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure I can exchange them for another day. You go.” 

He gives me a guilty look before signalling a waiter to ask for his food to go.

He stands up and holds my hand, “I’ll try and see you tonight. I’ll call.”

“Okay…” I smile and nod again.

He apologises one last time before I watch him walk out the door. Left with a feeling of emptiness.


	7. Two Weeks

Time went by slowly when Tom left. I ate my lunch, headed to the ferry kiosk and exchanged the tickets for another day. I thought about walking around by myself for a while but ended up dragging myself back to the apartment. Listening to my showtunes as I always do on the subway, I tried my best to be happy about spending time with Tom - he looked like he was genuinely having a great time and it’s weird to think that I had that effect on him. I silently congratulate myself on not fangirling too hard in front of him. I wonder if I'll ever get over this starstruck feeling. 

But I was so sad that our time was cut short. I will keep my hopes up for tonight.

“I’m back!” I shout as I lock the apartment door behind me. Louise looks up from her phone, confused.

“You’re back early.” she says. 

“Yeah my friend had to go - work” I reply and sit down next to her on the sofa, leaning my head on her shoulder.

“Have fun though?”

“Yeah course” I say and go on to to give her a rundown of events. 

“Aw shame about the ferry.” she says as I finish.

“Yeahh but hopefully I’ll see him tonight. He said he’d ring.”

At this, she sits up and stares at me,

“He?!” 

“Oh…” I turn red, “Did...did i not mention it was a guy?”

She grabs my shoulders and squeals, “Nooo! Ahh tell me everything! Details, details” and she starts shaking me.

I tell her to calm down and escape her grasp, pushing her onto the floor.

“Ah Lucy! Tell meee!” she pleads at my feet. I just roll my eyes and stand up to head towards my bedroom. But I scream as her hand clasps my ankle. I drag her towards my bedroom with her whining at me for details.

When I reach my room I vigorously shake my leg to escape her iron grip.

“Luce, pleeassee.”

“Nope” and with that I shut the door on her. 

Immediately I flop onto the bed and take out my phone. Staring at the last message I sent Tom, I wonder if I should message him but swiftly decide against it because he was busy and I didn’t want to seem desperate. Oh gosh was it weird to go through all these emotions again. But as hard as I tried, I couldn’t help but compare how I felt now to how I felt with Hadley. Honestly, I can’t say whether I was happier then or with Tom now. I guess I shouldn’t be over-analyzing things this early.

I sit up and run my hands through my hair in annoyance. I need to get on with something instead of just lying here thinking about my emotions - I’d just think myself into misery anyway. 

Using all my effort to get off the bed, I manage to start tidying my room. It was a...mess to say the least because I was lazy AND I never find the time to properly tidy between shows. Sunday was normally the tidying day. Louise better get her ass off the sofa and do the kitchen.

Putting on my showtunes playlist (gotta have my cleaning tunes), I begin with my mountain of clothes in the corner of the room and then move onto dusting and cleaning up the surfaces. Unfortunately, it took longer than expected because every five minutes or so I had the overwhelming urge to check my phone. It was like being a teenager again - I just had to know if Tom had messaged me or not. But he didn’t; even when i had finished cleaning and it was nearing 6pm, he hadn’t.

Well I suppose it was time to face Louise.

“Ah so you’ve cleaned the kitchen! So proud! Let me just get my phone and document this rare occasion!” I say as I open the door and survey the flat.

“Oh don’t patronise me, Luce.” Louise says as she places the dustpan and brush back under the sink.

“No i appreciate it, honestly.” I say and she smiles triumphantly. 

I sigh dramatically and flop onto the sofa.

“He didn’t call then?” Louise asks and joins me on the sofa. Her jokey manner had gone now and she sounded genuinely concerned.

I reply, “Noo…” and play with the phone in my hands.

“He might, don’t give up hope just yet. In the meantime though, I’m going to eat cause I am starving!” she says and walks back into the kitchen. I ask her pass me some crisps to curb my appetite and am met with a packet of salt and vinegar to the head.

The evening was spent half watching a film with Louise, half staring at my phone - willing for it ring. But when the film had finished, it had reached nearly half 9 and I’d given up nearly all hope. Louise bids me a goodnight to go read her book and go to sleep cause she had to be up to go somewhere tomorrow. So I was left on the sofa, flicking through the channels, not really caring about actually watching something.

I must have fallen asleep at some point because the next thing I know, I was woken up by my phone going off. It wasn’t a call but a text.

Tom: I’m really really really really really sorry about today! Things got a bit hectic and I had no time to message you. Make it up to you over the next two weeks while I’m here tho.

It was pretty unfair to be mad at him. He was a busy guy after all.

Lucy: Honestly dw! And I’ll hold you to that.

Tom: You’re honestly the best, Lucy. Thank you for understanding.

Tom: Send me your schedule and I’ll see when we’re both free.

So I send him an attachment of my schedule and after a while he sends me back an attachment. Once opened, I saw it was a spreadsheet where he had combined our schedules and highlighted when we were both free.

Lucy: Ah you’re a spreadsheet guy!

Tom: What can I say? It’s the most efficient way to do things.

Lucy: I’m impressed! And relieved cause i am sooo unorganised.

Tom: Don’t worry, just tell me what you want to do and I’ll do most of the planning.

Tom: I’m afraid I must go sleep tho. Up early for filming tomorrow!

Lucy: Ah yes i saw on the spreadsheet. ;)

Tom: See! Very helpful!

Tom: Night Lucy! Sorry about today again but I shall not disappoint over the next two weeks!

Lucy: Nighty night Hiddles. Dw about it and I look forward to it immensely! :)

Ah, I felt a lot better now. He hadn’t totally forgotten about me good good. So I got ready for bed and fell straight to sleep, thinking about Tom and what the next two weeks would have in store.

  
  


The next morning I woke up to a text from Tom:

Tom: Ehe Hiddles :) 

Tom: Morning Lucy!! Have a great day and performance today. Tell me if you’re up for lunch later.

I glanced at the time and saw that it was just before 10am so I messaged him for details about lunch and got up and ready. A while later, he messaged me a time and place and I headed out.

The next two weeks went on like this. Tom would almost always be up early and send me a good morning text and we’d meet up every day for at least lunch. Then I’d do my performances every evening and in the afternoon on Wednesday and Saturday. Occasionally when we were both free during the day, we’d meet up and do something. I took him to my ballet class like I said I would and he was surprisingly good for such a tall guy! He said he was just a natural born dancer and I laughed at him but later apologised after I realised he was being deadly serious. But overall we had an amazing time. Stealing kisses in alleyways and holding hands when there was less public around. He’d wait for me outside the stage door and I’d sneak out before Louise, telling her that I needed to run an errand and would meet her back at the flat later. I tried to show him most of the coolest spots I knew. We sang at Broadway bars - both of us being asked for autographs and selfies - and gushed about art in the countless galleries and museums. I finally managed to show him the Statue of Liberty up close and we took selfies and he bought me a snowglobe from the shop that I immediately placed right by my bed so I could wake up to it every morning. On the first Sunday off, I managed to get us tickets to see Phantom of the Opera and Tom told me he listened to the soundtrack the whole of the next week which I was immensely happy about. We even managed to do some shopping at Times Square, only periodically being stopped for photos and autographs. It was two weeks full of fun, laughter and great company. I was certainly falling for Tom Hiddleston.

The penultimate day left, I was on voice rest for the evening show so Tom invited me round to his hotel suite. As I walked up to his room, my stomach was swimming with anticipation at what could happen. Tom and I both knew we’d probably never see each other again after tomorrow so we both wanted to make the most of it. But I was unsure on how far I wanted to go. The thought of Hadley no longer dampens my mood but was I ready to go all the way with someone else?

Before I know it, I’m knocking the door and am quickly greeted with a beaming Tom opening the door.

“Luce! Come in! I’ve prepared dinner.” he says and pulls me into the suite, immediately pushing his lips to mine as the door closes. He pulls back and I hold his cheek.

“Is it...you?” I say jokingly suggestively.

He laughs and winks at me, “Well, I thought I’d save that for dessert.” and walks into the open plan kitchen and I recognise the scent of gravy.

“Are you making a full roast dinner?” I ask and follow him into the kitchen.

“Hm close but no.” he says and I stand back as he pulls a tray out of the oven and I peer over him to see what it is.

“Ooohh, Toad in the Hole?! You don’t get that round here!” I say, very impressed, my stomach growling in anticipation of something I haven’t eaten in a while.

Tom places the tray on the side and starts spooning carrots and mashed potatoes onto plates.

“Exactly.” he says, “Thought you’d enjoy something from home.”

I wrap my hands around his waist, restricting his movement but he doesn’t complain as he cuts and plates up the Toad in the Hole.

“Tom have I ever told you that you’re just too sweet?”

“Well have I ever told you that it’s just that your sweetness rubs off on me?” he says and turns his head to nose boop me. My heart melts and I kiss him again and again.

“Ahh ok ok, there will be plenty of time for that later. For now - food.” he says and I let go of him so we can both make our way over to the table, him with plates in hand. He places them down and runs back to return with the gravy boat and pours the gravy over both our dishes.

“How much?” he asks as he pours.

“A lot! I like a lot of gravy.” I say enthusiastically, unable to wait any longer to eat.

“I’ll be sure to remember that! “ he says and pours most of the gravy onto my plate.

He places the gravy boat down and sits down himself. Picking up the glasses full of wine in front of us, we clink them and Tom makes a toast to me.

“To us.” I correct him and he smiles.

“To us.”

We tuck in and I express my admiration for his cooking. This is delicious! We eat and talk about our days and soon enough we’ve both finished. Tom clears the plates away and brings back two bowls of what I assume is Eton Mess. He suggests we eat them on the sofa so we make our way over to it and sit and eat, cuddled up to each other. 

“Ha, Eton Mess.” I say but Tom gives me a quizzical look.

“Eton Mess! Just like you!” I remark.

Tom covers his mouth as he starts laughing, avoiding spitting out the contents of his mouth.

“Oh very funny, Luce. Cause I went to Eton ha ha.” he says sarcastically after finishing his mouthful.

For some reason, this just really tickles me and I have to put down my bowl because I’m laughing so hard. Tom just sits there shaking his head at me as I’m there losing it, tears rolling down my cheeks.

But my laughing is interrupted by Tom, pinning me onto the sofa and kissing me. I instantly forget about laughing and melt into the kiss - my hands coming to hold his hair as his start to explore the length of my body, slowly undoing any button that he can find.

He pulls back, his forehead still resting on mine.

“Do you want to move this to the bedroom?” he asks, his voice deep and gruff. My stomach flips but I nod and Tom stands up. He lifts me from the sofa and carries me into the bedroom. The outside wall is all glass and I notice the breathtaking view it provides of the New York skyline at night from being at the penthouse. But I don’t get long to look as he lowers me onto the bed and starts to make out with me once more. I allow myself to focus on him and begin to unbutton his shirt, sliding it off him, enabling me to run my hands along his toned back. He, in turn, uses his hands to slide underneath the skirt of my dress, pulling it up and then over my head. He takes this chance to place kisses on any exposed flesh, making his way down from my neck. He takes his time but comes back up to kiss me again. Then, looking deep into my eyes with his soft blue ones, he says,

“Would you like to do this?”

My breath hitches in my throat and I open my mouth to try and find my voice to reply.

But before I can, a phone rings.


	8. Truths

Tom sighs and says, “Sorry. I really have to get that. It might be my manager.”

I wasn't quite sure how I felt in this moment but there was definitely a twang of relief in there somewhere. I watched as Tom picked up his phone from the bedside table and sit on the edge of the bed,

“Hello?”

Feeling exposed, I make my way under the covers and stare at his back until he gets up and turns to me.

He covers the speaker and says to me, “I’m really sorry will you excuse me for just a moment. It is my manager.”

I smile and nod at him and he leaves the room with an apologetic smile. I turn to the window to appreciate the view I caught a glimpse of a few minutes ago. The darkness of the night was lit up with thousands of lights coming from the high rise buildings, street lamps and cars. The roads were still fairly busy even this late but that was no surprise - it was ‘the city that never sleeps’ after all. With Tom gone, it gave me time to reflect on what just happened. Did I really want to go through with it or was it just the fact that I hadn’t had so much attention in so long that I just went with it? What will happen when he comes back? Will I still be up for it then?

I tear my eyes away from the outside and clear my head of thoughts, and look towards the open door. I watch as Tom paces up and down the open living room area, his free hand scrunched up in his hair, his face tense in concentration.

“Is this really necessary?...This early on?...I understand but what about everything planned for back home?...my schedule is full as it is, I don’t think it’s going to work out...I understand...I trust you...ok...ok sure thank you...thank you...send them through in the morning and I’ll have a look through them. How long do I have until the first one?...really? It’s that soon?...ok...sure...sure...alright speak to you in the morning. Thanks for calling...alright...bye mate.”

He hangs up the phone and sighs, sitting down on the sofa. I grab my dress from the floor and put it on before joining him.

“Everything ok?” I ask as I place my hand on his.

“It’s fine, darling. I’ve just got to stay for a little while longer than planned for re-shoots and interviews.” he says, rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand. 

My heart jumps.

“This means more time together then!” I say excitedly, smiling widely. He looks at me and smiles back but for the first time, it doesn’t look genuine.

“I know but...but re-shoots are never the best of times. They’re so stressful and take forever to do. I would never describe my job as boring but re-shoots come the closest.”

“Well I’ll make sure to always try my hardest to make our dates extra fun then!” I say.

“Thank you, Lucy.” he says and gives me that insincere smile again, “But I don’t know how much free time I’ll get now and I have to sort out all the other engagements I had back in England which is really stressing me out and I’m not a great person to be around when stressed. I’d just dampen the mood.”

My stomach drops a bit at this. He doesn’t want to spend time with me anymore?

“Hey, I want to spend time with you no matter what mood you’re in. We all get stressed.” I say and hesitate before continuing, “This...this wasn’t just a fling was it?”

Tom looks at me in disbelief, “No, Lucy! No! I knew we only had two weeks together but I feel like I’m genuinely falling for you. I wouldn’t have known what would have happened if I had gone back to England tomorrow but I would have worked something out.”

Doubt settles across my mind at this,

“Tom...I’m falling for you too but...I know first hand that long distance relationships don’t work. I guess I wouldn’t have known what to do after you left either.”

“I guess neither of us really know what this…” he points between us, “...is.”

Silence falls between us, both of us unsure of what to say. I’m sure we both had a million questions we wanted to ask each other but neither of us could find the courage to say them.

Finally, I say, “How long are you here until then?”

“Indefinitely - until they’re done with me I guess.” he says.

I should be happy. We should both be happy - we can continue being together. So why do things feel so awkward now?

I stand up and avoid eye contact as I say, “I guess you want to be alone now. I...I should go.”

But Tom grabs my hand before I can take a step.

“No please.” he says, “Please don’t go. I want you to stay. I’m sorry our evening is ruined but I honestly want you to stay if you’d like to.”

I stared into his sorrowful, pleading eyes - so like the bluey, green ones of Hadley when I told him that I was moving to America.

_ ‘Please don’t go, Lucy. For me. For us.’ _

_ I play with the sleeve of my jumper and reply, ‘Hadley, this...this is my dream role. I’ve tried here in the West End but no matter how hard I try, I never get cast as a main part. Now here I have the opportunity to play not only a main part but my dream one at that! You have to understand that this is just something I can’t refuse.’ _

_ ‘But what about us? All these years together and you’re just going to walk away?’ _

_ Hadley says as he looks at me in pure bewilderment.  _

_ ‘I thought you’d support me in this…” I start but he’s quick to interject, his voice full of disbelief, _

_ “Why would you think I’d ever support you in something that meant you had to leave me? Am I not important to you?” _

_ I grab his hand. _

_ ‘Of course you are! But we said from the start that this wouldn’t be easy, knowing that our jobs were never stable. We said we’d support each other because this industry is cruel.’ _

_ ‘Exactly! So we need each other to get through this!’ he says, holding my arm and trying to catch my gaze.  _

_ I didn’t want to hurt him. _

“I’ll stay.” I assure Tom and he pulls me back onto the sofa into a hug.

The mood lightens a bit after a while and soon enough, we fall asleep in each other's arms. At least in sleep we could be worry free and I sleep soundly in Tom's embrace.

When I woke up I could no longer feel the weight of Tom on me anymore so I scoured the flat for any sign of him. He’s standing at the cooker; I smell eggs and toast.

“Hmm breakfast. I’ll make a housewife out of you yet, Mr. Hiddleston.” I say, wrapping my arms around his torso.

“Anything for you, darling,” he says and I step to allow him to plate up the eggs onto the toast. Again, there’s something a little off about him - his smile not quite genuine, his focus on me not quite there.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to leave me after this though. I have a million and one things to sort out today.”

“That’s fine. I guess I’ll go home and just sit, alone, by myself, doing nothing.” I say dramatically but I only get a small smile in return. I decide to be quiet - he’s not in a joking mood.

We quickly eat our breakfast and I pack up my things, do my teeth and wait by the door.

“Goodbye, darling.” he says with a kiss and a hug.

“Bye, Tom. We’ll talk later yeah?” I say and he hums with a nod. I walk out and with one last look at each other, he closes the door.

I sigh and look at my watch. It’s nearly half 9 in the morning so I have 5 hours before curtain so I make my way home to see what Louise is up to. 

“I’m home!” I shout as I enter the apartment. 

I hear a “I'm in my room!” and head towards the source of her voice. I find her sitting at her desk on her laptop. 

“Hey you. Where you been huh? You just leave saying you're going to stay at a friends.” She says and turns to face me, “is it your...yanno...man friend?” 

She raises her eyebrows at me.

I groan, knowing that we'd have to have this talk at some point. 

“Ehh maybe…” I grimace and she squeals. 

“Did you...did you do it?” She prods at me. 

“Noo but...nearly.” I say shyly, trying to avoid eye contact. 

Her face is pulled into a surprised expression and she says, “What?! What happened?! C’mon I’ve been way too nice lately and not asked anything so spill the beans!”

Well, it’s now or never I guess. I sigh and look at her square in the eye,

“His manager called him before anything could happen.”

I saw the confused look upon her face and knew that she was about to ask who I was with.

“I’ll tell you who but you’ve got to swear to me on Glinda’s wand that you won’t tell anyone else!” I continue and she nods as she puts her hand over her heart, “I was with...Tom Hiddleston.”

My hands instinctively fly to my ears and I grimace as Louise’s scream fills the flat.

“Lou! Everyone’s going to think someone’s getting murdered!” I manage to shout over her.

She’s off her chair at this point and pacing around her room like a wild thing. She then comes over to me, grabs me by the shoulders and starts shaking me while repeating, “Tom Hiddleston?! Tom fucking Hiddleston?!”

I laugh, “Yes yes Lou, you heard me!”

“Why are you only just telling me now?! You didn’t think to mention that you were dating a Hollywood star?! My favourite actor?!” she starts and goes on ranting.

I manage to calm her down after a while after promising to divulge everything.

“Tea?” I ask, “We could be here a while.”

So we sit down with our tea and I tell her everything from where we went to what he’s like. We talk so much and she asks so many questions that it’s suddenly time to make our way to the theatre.

On the way I keep checking my phone but there’s still no text from Tom.


	9. Communication is Key

In between shows I can't stop staring at my phone. While I eat my dinner my eyes keep shifting to it on the table beside me; waiting for that flashing light to appear to signal I have a message. 

“Don't you think so, Luce?” I hear Louise say but it sounds distant. 

I reply with a hum of confusion and she gives me a look. 

“Are you even listening to me?” She says and follows my eye line to the phone “ohh you're waiting for a text from your boyfriend, Tom Hiddleston aren't you?!”

Finally, I look her in the eye, “Shh! Don't scream it out for the whole world to hear! But yes...I am actually.” 

“Aaaawww! Didn’t you only see him like this morning?” she whines.

I sigh and say, “Yeah...but there was something off about him.”

“Off?” she questions, “How so?”

I sigh and then purse my lips, thinking of how to put it, “I dunno. Like I think he’s just stressed but..”

“Lucy?” I hear my name and turn around to find one of the techies holding my microphone, “I need to refit you for your mic again before the next show cause we were having some issues with it this morning.”

“Sure, I’ll be right there.”

“We’ll talk about this later, yeah?” Louise says as I get up from the table and gather my stuff.

I give her a small smile, “Yeah. See ya in a bit.”

I stare blankly at the wall, eyes glazed over, as my mic is fitted. What me and Tom were still eluded me. He said this wasn’t a fling but he was right, I honestly hadn’t thought about what would happen to us after he had left and maybe...maybe it would have just been a Hadley situation again.

I sighed, frustrated that my mind always had to make it about Hadley.

But my mind soon cleared as I saw the director walk into the room.

“Lucy? Remember about Monday night.” he says as he looks at his phone.

“Um..remind me again because…” I start but he cuts me off,

“You and Louise have to appear on The Late Late Show ok? I’ll email you the details and pick out a nice dress. You’ll both be representing the whole theatre remember!” he says and looks at me sternly.

I nod back, trying to put on an as serious face as I could. I hoped to Oz it didn’t look like I was sassing him - he never seemed to trust me. But he hummed at me then walked away, his attention back on his phone.

“Ok, you’re good to good, Miss Tilling.” the stagehand says and I smile a thank you at him and walk back to dinner.

I reminded Louise about Monday night and we chatted about that for a bit before heading off to our dressing rooms to prepare for the next performance. I’m glad I had another topic to talk about with her other than Tom cause I really wasn’t sure what the situation was with him at the moment.

As I sit down on the small, brown sofa, I stare at Tom’s texts and my thumb hovers over the keyboard as I think about telling him about Monday. I had to make sure everything was ok after last night - this morning didn’t really give me an indication of the state of things.

Normally I wouldn’t hesitate in messaging him but I don’t think he wouldn’t take too kindly to me distracting him from his busy schedule today anyway. I’d try and call him later tonight when he’s probably less busy.

The next performance goes without a hitch and as Louise and I are on the metro ride back, I scan the details for Monday night as Louise gushes over what outfits we should wear. I’m a bit worried about the lack of detail in these ‘details’ however. The director has only given me the time, place and style options. There’s nothing about what’s going to happen when we get there apart from the song which we would be performing which is sort of the important part but I didn’t have the courage to email him back with my questions. I wouldn’t get a straight answer anyway so looks like I’ll just be in for a surprise!

It’s around 11pm when we get back but I wasn’t tired. The moment I stepped into the apartment I took out my phone and called Tom. Surely he couldn’t be busy now. It rang out for a few moments before reaching his answer phone. Hmm...I guess I was wrong. I hadn’t heard from him all day which was a bit worrying because he always messages me something. Maybe I had actually done something wrong so he didn’t want to talk to me?

Oh gosh. I needed to do something to stop this downward spiral.

“Lou! MarioKart!”

So, Louise and I play Mario Kart for a while before I eventually head to bed. I sent a goodnight message to Tom as I always do and scrolled through instagram a bit, waiting for a reply but eventually gave up hope and fell asleep.

I woke up and finally saw a message from Tom...sent at 4am.

Tom: Sorry I wasn’t around today darling. I’ll try and catch you tomorrow. Well today! X

Hm he sounds alright.

Lucy: No worries! If you’re free maybe we could meet up today?

I got ready for the day and by the time I came back to my phone he had messaged me back.

Tom: Sorry darling. Very busy.

I pursed my lips and my spirits dampened a bit but it’s alright. I guess I was expecting this.

But what do I do today? I’ve spent every day with Tom for the past two weeks. Feels weird not to see him. 

I eventually end up spending the day with Lou and some friends doing a bit of retail therapy. Nothing like shopping to make me happy, plus I needed a new dress for Monday. But again, the whole time I can’t stop checking my phone but there’s nothing from Tom. I know he is busy but this is a radical change from the last two weeks.

When I get back in the evening I lay out my wares on the bed to inspect them. As I scan over them, my eyes land on the phone which gives me an idea. One by one, I try them on, take a photo and send them to Tom.

Lucy: Like my new clothes?? :) 

About 10 mins later my phone pings.

Tom: Very nice! Ttyl though.

Oh...well, that’s something I guess. He’s STILL not around though?

Lucy: Thank youu :) okie dokie.

I needed to tell him about Monday though so hopefully he really will be around later.

Later turned out to be around 11pm…

Tom: Hey Luce around now for a bit

Tom: Need to go to bed soon. Soooo tired 

Lucy: That’s fine! How was your day??

Tom: Ugh gosh 

Tom: I got up at 6am and had to go to a read through for a script for a scene rewrite, THEN I had to go to costume for hourrss because they had to completely change something and it was absolutely boiling today so that was not fun and THEN i finally found time to have a cup of tea. And that was just the morning.

Lucy: Ah! At least you got your tea! Very very important.

Tom: Exactly! But then we had rehearsal but just blocking which you know is just standing around in a boiling costume.

Tom: But yeah it goes on and on so honestly all I want now is just to curl up in bed

Tom: Preferably with you…

Tom: But equally a very busy day tomorrow so not a good idea :(

Awww, at least he’s still thinking about me. He seems a bit overwhelmed though so I should let him get to bed. I can tell him about the Late Late Show after I’ve filmed it tomorrow.

Lucy: Ahh Toomm go get some rest then! You need it

Tom: Goodnight darling! Hope your day was better than mine <3

Lucy: Sleep well!! It wasn’t bad :) <3 x

I slept a lot better that night knowing things were ok.

My alarm pierced through my sleep at the ungodly hour of half 6 in the morning. I groaned as I turned it off but as I twisted round in bed and saw my pretty dress I smiled. Pretty clothes are my weakness. Luckily we were getting our makeup done there so it didn’t take long for us to get out of the house and on our way to the studios. 

When we arrived we were rushed into makeup and briefed about the schedule - the other guests would be interviewed first, then we perform, be interviewed and our ‘Crosswalk the Musical’ segment of Wicked would be played. Easy enough.

We sat in our dressing room as the show started, buzzing with excitement, all glammed up. James Cordon appeared on screen, cracking jokes as he monologues and then began to introduce the guests. I realised I didn’t even know who the other guests were!

My eyes were fixed on the screen, eager to learn who I’d later get to meet.

The first was introduced…

Robert Downey Jr?!

Oh that makes sense since they’re still in town.

And the second…

I dug my nails into Louise’s arm next to me.

My breath hitched in my throat.

My stomach dropped and filled with butterflies simultaneously 

My eyes widened and my jaw dropped.

“Luce!” Louise whispers harshly to me, “It’s...It’s..”

“I know…” I reply, “It’s Tom Hiddleston.”


	10. Caught Off Guard

“Ummm byeee.” I say and stand up.

“You ain’t going nowhere!” Louise says and drags me back down onto my seat.

I squeeze Louise’s hands and look her straight in the eyes, “Louise I do not know how to act around him in front of all those people! I’m going to mess up, I’m going to act too affectionate, I’m going to laugh too hard at his jokes, they’re going to know there’s something going on!”

“No. No they are not. You are an actor. You can act and you can do this.” she points to the screen, “Look at Tom. He was being filmed when he learnt that you were on the show as well and he dealt with it!”

I look up at the screen and bite my nails, trying to control my breathing. 

He looked fine. He looked cool and relaxed; I can do that.

“Ok.” I stand up, “Ok let’s go through some basic things about how to act like I’ve never met my lover before just so I feel better.”

Louise sighs.

Louise tries to calm me down but I keep getting distracted by Tom on the screen. Seeing him makes me feel somehow both immense dread and unparalleled lightness. 

They were talking about the film mainly but then James asks if they’ve been able to see some of the sights and I immediately hone in on Tom’s reaction. Will he publicly out me now?

Robert and Tom both agree that they’ve not had a lot of free time in between shooting but still appreciated the view around them when they were on location. 

‘Ok, ok, and anything else?’ I wonder to myself.

“I have managed to meet up with some friends while over here though which has been nice. Went to dinner and caught up” Tom says.

Hmm...friends. That didn’t exactly give me any indication on how we should behave together right now though!

I decided it was probably best to stick with the strangers scenario. Louise was right. I’m an actor - we’re both actors and it’s not hard to act like total strangers.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that Louise had to drag me to the side of the stage to get ready to perform. 

She turns to me, “Do you know what we’re doing?”

I looked at her for a while, glassy eyed, “Uhhh...Popular!” 

“Yes! Now let’s do this! You ARE Glinda!”

“Yeah! I AM Glinda!”

I stepped into the heat of the lights like I had so many times before, fully aware that Tom was watching me intently, trying to control and think through his reactions. Throughout the performance, my heart was beating like it was my first time on that stage but in that moment I was Glinda and nothing could distract me from that. I made sure I gave it my all - the words of the director ringing in my ears about representing the theatre. That’s it. Think of why you’re here. This wasn’t a normal show - it was about showing the world how I deserved this part.

I hit the last high note perfectly and smiled out into the applauding audience as my heart calmed down. Louise joins me on stage and we take a bow as James Cordon walks onto the stage, riling up the audience even more. 

“Ah that was wonderful! Absolutely amazing! Glinda and Elphaba everyone!” he says and we thank him and join him as he walks back towards the sofa where Robert Downey Jr and Tom were sitting. 

I feel my stomach instantly drop but it’s fine. I’m still acting, I think to myself. 

I shake the hand of Robert Downey Jr as Tom kisses Louise on the cheek and then I approach Tom. He behaves as if this truly was the first time we had met, there was nothing even in his eyes that indicated any recognition but as he kissed me on the cheek as he did Louise, I felt my cheeks burning red and my stomach churned even more. Louise goes to sit down as to leave space for me to sit in between her and Tom and as I do sit I make a mental note to have a go at her for it later. I look towards her and she simply smiles back at me innocently.

“So Robert, Tom, I believe you went to actually go see Wicked while you were over here shooting The Avengers, is that right?” James says and I look to Tom as he answers.

“That’s right. We were privileged to have seen these two wonderful people perform a few weeks ago now,” he says as he gestures to me and Louise, “and I have to say they were just as wonderful then as they were now.”

I direct a smile towards James in an embarrassed but flattered way as the audience ‘awws’.

“Did you have any idea that you would have such a star studded audience that night?” James directs his attention back to us.

“Oh no! I actually think this is the first time I’m hearing about this?” Louise replies and turns to me as if to ask me if I knew. I mean of course I knew. I’m never going to forget that night when Tom and I finally got to properly introduce ourselves. I can’t believe I never actually told Louise about it. Looks like we’re going to have a lot to talk about after this.

What do I do? Lie and say I didn’t know either, or say ‘oh yes, Tom Hiddleston came to my personal dressing room afterwards’?

There must be a way to please everyone here.

I give a slight, nervous chuckle before i say “Well, I actually accidentally found out after the show when I saw Tom backstage.”

“Oh yeah, Tom insisted on going back stage afterwards while you know, us others had more pressing matters to get to like learning lines” Robert says, giving a stern look to Tom but in the classic Robert Downey Jr jokey way.

Tom holds his hands up in defence as he says “Hey! I can’t help it if I like to know what’s going on backstage. It’s interesting. Also, you’re one to talk about learning lines!”

The audience laughs at this and I thank the heavens that we managed to skirt around that subject. 

We talk about Wicked some more until James asks us how we got started in this business.

“Your first role was in The Pirate Queen, I believe, alongside Hadley Fraser?” James questions casually, not knowing the implications.

I tense up and manage a “yes” and a nod.

“We have a picture of you two here actually,” James continues and brings up a picture of me and Hadley in character that we used in the programme.

There we were, clad in our pirate costumes, looking very young. 

Memories of Hadley flew through my mind, some good, some bad. I tried to push them away and bring myself back to the present, giving nothing away to Tom or the thousands of people watching. But it’s no use. I hadn’t seen even a picture of Hadley in ages so to see his face even just on a screen completely threw me off.

I felt a lump in my throat but I pushed forward, “Hadley was the best person to work alongside with in my first production. He really was such a genuinely lovely guy, so supportive. I seriously credit him for teaching me everything I know.”

My heart started to become a bit lighter now, feeling the way I was when I was still with him. Or maybe it was just the heat of the studio lights or the hundreds of eyes on me that forced me to see the happiness in the past, not wanting to look distraught for the camera.

“And apparently he left quite an impression on you when you first met!” James prompted, leading me to elaborate on the situation.

I laughed, remembering it fondly, “Ha yes! Well, we were going to be lovers,” I cough, “in the play you see, so he walks into the rehearsal room, playing the guitar and singing God Only Knows by The Beach Boys, you know the one.”

And I start singing a little bit of it which is met with applause but stop, realising I had a story to tell, “so there he is, serenading me and I’m going all red because ya know I’m a young girl and here’s this dashing man, with an amazing voice, singing this song to me and I am melting, like absolutely melting. He’s prancing around, getting closer and closer to me until he’s super close like face to face, and then suddenly,” I pause to laugh a little bit, “one of the guitar strings pings off and manages to hit us both in the face!”

The audience joins in with my laughing but I continue, “so we both instantly reel back and I instantly tumble straight over the stack of chairs behind me but before I hit the ground, Hadley manages to grab me and pull me into his arms. Then, from there on out we just managed to have great chemistry! Nothing like a near death experience to bring two people together, am I right?” 

I joke around as the audience continues laughing and subconsciously look to Tom who is next to me. I had been so engrossed in telling my story that I had completely forgotten how it must have sounded to him. 

He was looking down at the floor, clearly feeling awkward but trying to hide it behind a small smile. My face falls for a second, but I turn away from him and go back to laughing, less so this time however.

I’ll explain later. Where there are no cameras, no ears to listen to then let their mouths run to the press to escalate everything.

But that feeling of being happy about Hadley had now gone, crushed with one look at Tom’s face.

Louise turns to me all smiles, but I can see that she knows exactly how I’m feeling, sympathy shining through her eyes. 

James picks up the conversation by moving onto Louise’s first role as the Narrator in Joseph and His Technicolour Dreamcoat and that lifts my spirits a bit as it is my favourite musical after all. We all laugh and joke with each other, telling our stories about famous people that we’ve worked with or ran into but Tom still can’t seem to quite keep my eye. To the camera we were acting fine, courteous but that’s all. I thought it would be hard to make it seem like we were strangers but I guess I kinda killed the mood with my Hadley story which was both a blessing and a curse. It’s now as if I didn’t actually want this recording to end because I wanted to avoid the Hadley conversation with Tom as much as possible, as cowardly as that was. 

But unfortunately the end did come, and as James told the audience to enjoy our Crosswalk Musical segment, we all stood up to say goodbye. 

Louise links arms with me as we head towards backstage.

“Well done, Luce. You made it.” she whispers to me but I wasn’t out of the woods yet.

It was then that I felt a hand grip my arm and pull me from Louise. She began to protest but Tom was quick to reassure her that he just needed me just for a minute.

Louise scowls and looks to me for permission and all I can give her is a weak smile and a nod. So she trudges away as Tom brings me to a clear space in the crowds of backstage.

“Luce, what was all that about?” he whispers to me, more harshly than I would expect from him, “I know we kept up the guise of being strangers but you were practically gushing over this Hadley guy. What’s going on?”

“I...I uh,” I was so shocked to see this possessive side of him that any words just got caught in my throat, “Are we...are we really doing this right here?”

I gesture vaguely to the busyness of backstage.

Tom completely ignores me and continues, “Just tell me right now.”

He looks so confused, like a cross between a lost Labrador puppy and a furious Rottweiler. I don’t even know where to start. There was so much to say and to explain but I felt so rushed in this environment. 

“He...he was my boyfriend but this was years ago now!” I manage to stumble out and Tom instantly runs his hands through his hair in stress and frustration. This was so unlike him, I felt like I needed to explain more but what came out was a rambling mess of an explanation that didn’t make a lot of sense.

“Lucy…” he begins.

“Tom please! Can we go somewhere a bit more private to discuss this?!” I interrupt.

“Lucy…” he tries again.

“I was going to tell you but it’s a whole thing and I wasn’t prepared…”

“Lucy!” he finally shouts/whispers to me and grabs my shoulders and I immediately shut up, “I want to go public with our relationship. Soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to listen to Hadley sing God Only Knows btw, search it up on youtube cause it is worth it


End file.
